Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Area man the personification of Evangelicals’ concept of a Mormon

BRIGHAM CITY, UT- Levi White, 27-year-old father of four, displays a striking resemblance to Evangelical groups’ stereotypical concept of a Mormon.

White, who served a mission in Quito, Ecuador, where he did “whatever it took” to get the baptism numbers up, currently works as a lawyer in Salt Lake City. He is a BYU graduate who describes himself as someone who’s “dedicated to the cause of advancing the gospel of Jesus, one of our many gods.”

White, when asked about how his beliefs play a role in his life, answered, “It’s all based around the Book of Mormon. We don’t really read much of the Bible, as it is filled with mistakes.”

In response to a question about what he does to prepare for the afterlife, White said, “It doesn’t worry me too much. I know that by works we are saved- none of this grace nonsense. You have to work your way into heaven, and I’ve done that.”

He added, “I’m really looking forward to resurrecting my wife and presiding over her for time and all eternity. I’m just curious to know what planet I’ll get to be god of. Hopefully I get to name it myself.”

The White family’s daily routine follows a common pattern, which includes saying prayers day and night in the name of Joseph Smith, and shaving their horns.

“Those things get pretty pesky. I’ve had to grow my hair out a little longer so they can’t be seen,” he said with a chuckle.

When asked what his favorite part of the gospel is, White responded, “Going to the temple. I particularly enjoy baptizing cruel dictators posthumously and sacrificing the goats.”

White stressed that he loved his life in spite of how busy it is. “There are certain times that I’m involved in a service project in which I’m not there just trying to score brownie points with God, and those instances are very fulfilling. Also, I have a profound love for my three wives- my regular one and my two secret temple wives. They certainly keep me young.”

1 comment :

backandthen said...

"Going to the temple. I particularly enjoy baptizing cruel dictators posthumously and sacrificing the goats."
When I was little the ward had its meeting in a house that the church had bought. Then when our very young cat died we buried her in the front yard of the house/church.
Shortly after it was sold.
I wonder what the new owners thought...